Archive for March 2012

is this real life?

"I will break these chains that bind me. Happiness will find me, leave the past behind me. A whole new world is waiting; it's mine for the taking. I know I can make it - today my life begins. "

- Bruno Mars, Today My Life Begins

The last couple of days have been absolutely insane - everything is happening so quickly and I feel like I need a moment just to take it all in. Handed in my last paper of second year yesterday. Signed the lease for living arrangements for the next year. And that thing I'd talked about feeling nervous/apprehensive about? Yeah, it ended up working out, in an amazing way - I got it! 

I think I'm simultaneously beyond ecstatic/excited and scared out of my mind. This would be such a huge step - it could be huge in terms of personal growth and development and gaining maturity and independence. But it's also very intimidating; having been on residence for the past two years, I've never lived on my own before. And to do it for the first time not only in a different country, but also a different continent? Insanity.  

I've wanted to travel, and always assumed that I would, eventually, sooner or later - some day. But literally - it could be happening like now. (Well, in like a month sort of now, but still.) That blog description I plopped in back in January? "Starstruck by the big city?" Really hit me when I flew down during March Break of 12th grade to tour the campus/city. 

"Wanderlust-struck by the world?" Still hasn't fully sunk in yet, but that could actually happen. Like this summer. Only have to dare to do it. 

Challenge accepted. 

crunch time

Two days, ten pages. Oh baby - let's dance.

Edit (Sun., March 25th, 1:00pm): Make that one day, ten pages. fml. Forget waltzing, let's tango.

okay then

When dreams and reality converge, maybe they're collaborating to try and tell me something. Consider the message received then - loud & clear. Maybe there's been a bit of misinterpretation tied in, but that's okay. No point in expending time or energy wondering though; it is what it is. 

Considering how packed tomorrow is (completely go-go-go), writing this post is probably the last thing I should be doing right now. Especially since the days following won't be any easier/less packed either. Really mixed feelings about tomorrow - a bit of apprehension, a bit of nervousness, a bit of worry, a bit of just wanting to get the entire day & night over with and cram in a couple precious hours of sleep. 
Saw some pretty sweet street art with M & J yesterday. Very intricately done flowers - there were 2 of these green ... structure-things, and both were covered with flowers on all sides exposed outwards. (Also - just noticed that the blogspot URLs have switched to '.ca' - what's up with that?)

Made dinner with M last night. She baked ribs (which finished about half an hour after we finished eating, so they aren't pictured) & sauteed onions, carrots & spinach (interesting combination!) and I made [instant/add water-milk-butter] bacon carbonara pasta. It all turned out pretty decent. I'm actually a little excited to do some cooking this summer, and maybe have a potted garden...

life chats, insights & apprehension

So I guess I'm not that good at the whole keeping up with documenting general day-to-day events thing. Too lazy to really backtrack and log everything that's happened since the last real update though, so I guess to quickly glaze it over, it's basically been a chaotic hot mess of school, meetings, seminars, house hunting and chilling. Look! We made fresh guacamole from scratch (@ the sleepover with a bunch of the lovelies). Not usually a fan of avocado, but this was really good. 
Went to Holi on Friday - this was my first one, as I hadn't been able to go last year. It was definitely a lot of fun and a great experience. And very colourful, to say the least!
A couple of us are looking into getting an apartment together for next year/this summer. Holy cow, it's actually more of a hassle than I would've thought. So I guess we'll see how that works out. Basically there's just a lot of uncertainty for me right now - not just about living situations, but like... the summer in general, I guess? Feeling pretty apprehensive about this week, really hoping that everything will work out for the best, but really scared that it won't. I don't know - we'll see.

Met up with J, an old family friend, for dinner tonight. It was kind of crazy, because I guess our last significant interaction was about a decade ago, maybe? And now, here we are, living in the same city, (hopefully) more grown up. We ended up going to Chipotle, which I've been meaning to try for the longest time, having heard so much positive feedback about it.

The food was really good, but the company/conversation was even better. It was really nice to chat with someone ~half a decade older - especially someone I admire and look up to. I guess it's just kind of a different outlook on school, traveling and life, coming from someone who's been there, done that. Basically just really good life chats about a wide range of topics, insightful tidbits. And I guess a bit of a throwback to childhood/home. Thanks, J - hadn't realized how much I needed something like that until I got it.

Lots to think about, for sure.

two stories

- two amazing life stories of two remarkable people:

John Fairfax & Katrina Hodge

if you waste time waiting for life to happen - it won't; it'll just pass by. 
a story worth re-telling, a life worth living
one in which people look at the chronicled accomplishments and go,

maybe being unique comes with being slightly hedonistic. 
"old and grey and full of sleep"* & looking back on youth and naiveity passed - 
no regrets - but hopefully there will be satisfaction & fulfillment. 

*When You Are Old - W. B. Yeats

3:15am & I should be sleeping

...but still awake, exhausted but on edge
hopeful, but unsure
optimistic, but scared

& at a loss...

for the applicable question(s).

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