"Why don't you be the artist and make me out of clay? Why don't you be the writer and decide the words I say?"
On September 6th, Rdio and TIFF presented a live concert featuring Ellie Goulding and HAIM. Checked it out with C - was overall a pretty awesome evening!

Last night was hard, but we're only going up from here.

In other news - my first piece on Medium: Greatness or Nothing.

So I've been 21 for over a week now. To be honest, it was about as anti-climatic as 20. Then again, I'm kind of weird about birthdays. I like other people's birthdays, but mine always stresses me out. So day of, I grabbed some takeout on my way home and had a quiet dinner in with the roommates, and they surprised me with cake (and sang and everything, hehe). 1 for #1, obviously ;)
Day after, went to Pan on the Danforth with I, M, A, M & M for dinner. A chunk of the TTC line was out of commission, so M and I actually ended up walking all the way to Greektown, pausing along the way to explore a cemetery. The food was pretty good (also got mussels as an appetizer - was pleasantly surprised by the generous portion. But being too hungry, forgot to grab a photo). Greece is definitely on my To-Go travel list; super excited to try some authentic Greek food!
Had brunch at Sage Cafe the next day with M, J & S. Hadn't seen M in a while. The decor had a cute vibe, and the food was pretty good too (and fairly healthy).
So, I guess I'm officially an adult now? Maybe? I don't know. After a certain point, these labels - "youth", "young adult", "adult" - all seem kind of arbitrary. Human constructs. Numerically, age is linear; each year, you progress one more unit upwards. But more abstractly, age is kind of a fluid concept. There are milestones, landmark events, in a life. These tend to be replicated across the species experience, at different rates, in different ways. At different times.

Birthdays, while a convenient way to measure the anniversary of one's birth, is technically founded on the premise of recurring every 365-day cycle. But that number - 365 - is flawed in and of itself. Rotations and revolutions don't fit into neat and tidy numbers that can be divided evenly. At some point, compensation has to be paid. At some point, time has to be made up, and at some points, time is lost.

To borrow Oscar Wilde's sophisticated articulation: "To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." 21 - there's only one. So let's seek that rare thing, find it, catch it, achieve it.

There's something about stressful periods that's just oh-so-conducive to food - both in terms of stress-eating, and stress-cooking. So picking up where we left off: on the 19th, I wrote my second exam in the morning. At night, we headed over to A, D, M, M, and J's apartment for a 'One Last Time' party, since they're moving out at the end of the month :( It was great to see everyone and catch up though!

Saturday was super unproductive, consisting basically of procrastinating, watching movies, and dealing with some administrative EC stuff. (There was an alien movie that I watched like a decade ago that I've been trying to find again for years - after watching it, I'm pretty sure it was Alien: Resurrection. Less scary now that I'm actually within the recommended age range, haha.) And then at 6pm I realized, uh oh, needed to get dressed/presentable and get over to Pickle Barrel for our 6:45pm reservation for our team dinner. (I made the reservation, and yes, sometimes I like to pick less common times, okay.) There ended up being 9 of us, and it was a pretty good time. I got the grilled turkey burger + sweet potato fries; it was good! No photo though.
Sunday morning A, M, S & I went for brunch at Rose & Sons, which was a super adorable venue and boasts "comfort food". S and I were feeling lazy so we decided to bus over instead of walking, but that turned into quite the debacle. First, the bus did not show up. (We were also waiting at two separate bus stops.) So we catch the next one, halfway through the trip, S panics and insists we need to get off the bus, we do so, realize we got off too early, I reacted pretty quickly and suggested we just hop back on, S insists we're only like 3 minutes away from the restaurant anyway. We weren't. It was more like 1.5km away (so about 13 minutes). The food (first photo) was definitely worth it though.

Afterwards, the four of us headed to Ezra's Pound, since it was such a sunny day (and we were all putting off studying). (I've also compiled a massive list of cafes I want to try, so it was nice to check another one off.) We left M at the coffee shop, walked A home, and then S and I spent the rest of the afternoon holed up in the library.
Soon, we were struck with hunger pangs and headed back out in search of more food. We ended up settling for Vietnamese food at Anh Dao. The dish I got (some sort of Bún thịt nướng?) reminded me of this one restaurant we used to go to all the time in high school. Haven't had this kind of food in a while now. Then it was back to the library, and L joined us (and the two of us went on a Timmy's run).
Didn't go out for prepared food today, but I did go grocery shopping - and ended up with 2 bags of Doritos and 4 TV dinners. Which is kind of terrible, because I've had adequate self-control up until this point to not buy any chips this entire school year (minus the 3 bags of Crispers, and the time I had to buy chips for an EC event). But I also bought lots of fish, which is supposed to be good brain food. May be wishful thinking that it'll pay off in time for my next exam... Anyway, collaborated with M on dinner; I made lemon herb salmon steaks. They turned out decently.
Also tried making chili in my rice cooker after dinner tonight; this didn't quite turn out looking like conventional chili. It tastes okay though, and for a first time (free-styling, no recipe), can't complain. So yeah, basically my last couple of days have revolved around food in a major way. But I also dragged myself to the gym tonight, so in the end, it all balances out :)

In hindsight, this past semester has been varied, and not what I expected (but then again, it wasn't like I went into this semester expecting anything in particular). Some things worked out better than expected, others didn't work out at all. There were missed opportunities, and unexpected opportunities. Highs and lows. Positives and negatives. At the end of the day, there's only tomorrow. And that should be sufficient reason to remain optimistic.

I wonder what tomorrow will bring...

"My wish for you is that this life becomes all that you want it to, your dreams stay big, your worries stay small."

On the one hand, I finish everything school work-wise the first week of December. On the other hand, literally everything is crammed within the next week and it's just too much/not physically possible to get it all done in time/+ all those extra-curricular commitments/just cannot deal.

Too little sleep is also resulting in rapid fluctuations in terms of energy levels, mood, hunger, and just about everything else. Deprived to the point of falling asleep in class, yet I can't seem to sleep at night. Alternately super excited [about lots of things] and questioning everything. Pretty much live at the library these days. At the end of the day, just have to remember that it's all #firstworldproblems.

These choco max brownie bars are basically keeping me going. One more week.

Also - this. (Thought Catalog - Girls Have the Right to Own Themselves)

Also, also - saw Faber Drive perform live last weekend with J - got to touch Faber's hand and snagged Krikit's bass pick. Photos/video to come!

"Something has changed within me, something is not the same. I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game. Too late for second-guessing, too late to go back to sleep - it's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap!"

"I will break these chains that bind me. Happiness will find me, leave the past behind me. A whole new world is waiting; it's mine for the taking. I know I can make it - today my life begins. "