feeling foolish

Posted by D on Saturday, January 26, 2013

and naive, and overwhelmed, and undeserving, and frustrated, and ten other shades of messed up. It's like I'm spiraling towards a self-destruction relapse, and based on past precedence, once we've started, we're going all the way. It needs to be different this time though - controlled, reined in, stopped.

Flopped down on the bed some time shortly after 6, tried extremely hard to wake up at 8:30 but couldn't, and next thing it's somehow suddenly 10pm.

Some mistakes just can't be unmade.

Some words just can't be unsaid.

Some things just can't be erased.

Sometimes it sucks, and there's nothing to do but file it away as a learning experience. Sometimes you try all these new adventures in an attempt to find yourself, but as the memories recede, feel just as lost as ever. Maybe even more so. The more you learn, the less you know.

Where has the motivation gone?

I just want to sleep.

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